The Notre Dame Fighting Irish are officially in BIG trouble. I watched in actual, physical pain yesterday as the Michigan Wolverines decimated Notre Dame 38 to 0. Earlier this week, Mike Hart of Michigan guaranteed a victory over the Irish, and boy did he and the rest of his teammates deliver. Hart ran for 187 yards on 35 carries and scored two touchdowns. Even Michigan’s freshman quarterback, Ryan Mallett, looked like a rock star in his debut – throwing for 3 touchdowns against an Irish secondary that committed mistake after mistake.

For the third straight game Notre Dame has been unable to score an offensive touchdown. Fumbles, penalties, and a deluge of other mental errors plagued the Irish throughout the entire game. The scary part is that I see no signs of improvement – offensively, defensively, or on special teams. Notre Dame simply has a horrible football team. At this point I’m wondering if they only recruit players who do not possess opposable thumbs.

Yesterday, I went through emotional states like a fat man through a stack of pancakes at IHOP.

First, there was anticipation. Will Jimmy Clausen finally shine? Will our “offensive guru” head coach unleash the hounds and throw caution to the wind?

Then the anxiety showed up. Will Mike Hart be so motivated and pissed off that he runs all over us? Can our secondary even hope to stand up against the likes of Mario Manningham and company? Is my boss, who went to Michigan, ever going to let me live down a loss in the “Oh-fer Bowl”? Could we possibly be 0-3 after today?

Thankfully, positive determination comes in next. Of course we’re going to win! Michigan lost to Appalacian State. They are simply overrated, and Notre Dame is bound to have a great game after the first two losses.

The game starts, and the first two possessions for Notre Dame bring on that “Oh shit, here we go again” feeling. We can’t snap the ball. We can’t hold on to the ball. We can’t get rid of the ball. We can’t gain positive yardage by any manner.

Halftime rolls around, and I’m upset but hopeful for a good showing in the second half. Let’s at least make a good game of it right? Yeah, not so much.

During the final minutes of the game, I just stared blankly at the television and mumbled a few incoherent phrases from time to time. I believe a few four letter words were in there, but I’m honestly not sure.  It’s all kind of a blur.

After the game came dread. The dread you have when you know you’re going to see about 10 of your friends in the next hour and they all know how much you like Notre Dame football. Some try to point you towards the future with the “but they have a lot of young talent” discussion. Some think you need a partner in anger and point out all the reasons your football team sucks. Some avert their eyes and stay on the opposite side of the room – careful not to look directly into the eyes of the crazy Irish fan for fear of instantly turning to a pile of ash.

Reality hits on the day immediately following the game. That’s when I face facts and admit what everyone else already knows. The Notre Dame Fighting Irish are last in Division 1 football. There is no hope for the season. There is no hope for this team. And there may not even be a hope for next year unless something changes drastically.